Still in Gambling Limbo

Still in action purgatory. No recreation. I have played a coupla random SnGs and even an hour of 3/6 limit at Harrahs but nothing interesting to speak of. My mind is mush from life stress anyway. I do remeber one hand where I had AQ in the big blind and flop comes Ace, 7, 4 and I check called $3 with about 5 people still in the hand and then a 3 hits and I check fold. Then they start the raising and reraising and it becomes the biggest pot of the night with a 3 way show down. The river had come a Queen which woulda gave me two pair which was ver obviously no good. Anyway the hands that went the distance were a set of 4s, 65 for the nuts and ....drum roll.....AQ. I didnt tell the guy that I spent $6 total on that hand while he dumped another $50 in the pot but it woulda been fun to. Obviously i didnt win if my best hand to speak of was a fold after $6 invested. I wish I had a few hundred to get in a No Limit game with just because I know I would be able to shut the world out for a little while. I wonder if that sounds healthy or sick. Dont most people use hobbies to do that? I guess people do drugs for the same reason though. Maybe its just the destructive vs. not destructive. If I were to play when I couldnt afford it just to zone out then I guess thats unhealthy. Of coarse I could do it knowing that it was dumb but that wouldnt mean I didnt have a choice. I guess thats the biggest problem. People who cant make a choice to quit until they are under the jail and really have no choice. I have won 2 outta 4 weeks in my office college football pickem pool. Im still not in the overall lead though cause my bad weeks are too bad. My fantasy leagues are above average but I think its gonna go south soon. I dont have anyone who is killing it this year and I havent played the strong teams yet. Oh well thats the update. I know it sucks but I dont want to just shut my blog down. I do plan on playing poker regularly again soon.