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Stop PMing Me Asking Me to Be Gay with You

Good Money Cant Win

Poker has felt like getting gang raped in a prison for retards. I had Saturday by my lonesome for a change so decided to play the 2/5 NL game at the Belle casino. Pretty much the first player I notice is this little old cajun man in a golf hat who plays poker like we did when we were 8 years old for candy. He saw every flop no matter what and would try to buy everypot or just call people down if he happened to have a hand as big as bottom pair. The kind of guy you pray for basically. I basically play a few pots and stay evenish. Then I pic up AK. The UTG guy min raises to 10 and crazy cajun calls and the guy who looks likke wolfman jack calls. I decide to isolated the UTG guy who obviously has a small pair. I raise to like 65. All 3 called and one maniac behind me called. The flop comes AA5 with 2 diamonds. I go ahead and bet like 85. I want whoever has A9 to think I'm scared and put it in. Well crazy cajun calls and no one else. Oh well. The turn is another diamond. Cajun bets 150 into me. I am not sold on his flush so I call. The river is another diamond. A 4 of diamonds. Fuck me. He puts me all in. I fold. He shows. He didn't have a diamond. He had pocket 4s. Nice boat. Later him and this big Aaron Neville looking guy get in a pot where the river makes a flush and a stright for anyone with a nine. The black guy checks to cajun and cajun bets 100. Black guy reraises all in for 300 more and stares at cajun like its WWE wrestling. Cajun calls. They both had a 9. Its like watching monkeys hump a football. A while later I turned a set of 2s in a limp pot with no action on the flop. I bet it and Wolfman called, Cajun called and big scary guy called. Wolfman tells me that now I got the cajun guy on the hook. I figured he was strong since he was encouraging me while he was in the pot. Well the board pairs on the end and I bet. Wolfman moves in for like $300 more. I'm sure he has a boat. He musta had 53 or 23. I fold my boat and he tries to convince me he had top pair with a queen kicker. Ok buddy. Anyway my lst pot I had J9 and limped after 2 guys. Well big guy makes it $20 and no one folds. I call 15 more and flop is J94 and we all check to raiser. I think he has AA. He bets pot $80. Flods around to me and I make it $280. He thinks for aminute and moves in. I call. He has KK. K on the turn. I get up cussin and went Phil Helmuth on him calling him a fucking idiot who shoulda known he was beat. I walked out cussin and talkin bout how I can't win no matter what and how its like playing poker against monkeys at the zoo (not in a racial way btw).