Russian Poker Bride

Lemme see I went to the Belle on last last Friday night and played 4/8 limit. Thats right. I decided to let $100 bucks ride on the donkey olympics. I wont be able to do that very often for now until I get my finances back to manageable. The best part about it was the hot Russian girl in the half shirt with her nice chesticles on display. She was very flirty and winning so she was having a good time. Her boyfriend was there to start with but when he left she decided to take a cab later. Being the cynical bastard I decided she was a mail order bride and really didnt give a shit about her dopey ass boyfriend. I was losing but I told Terry that I had sat and lost at tables full of people I downright despised so why would ever think of getting up just because I was losing at limit holdem. The Russian girl flirted some tourist into sitting next to her and playing even though he didnt know how to play. Well up to that point she was running like Ivan Drago before Rocky came to Russia but guess who had some beginners luck and was hitting on her to her annoyance. She got what she deserved. I went broke and headed home. I dont know when I will be able to play cash again. I dont even think I can justify playing in the $40 tournament tonight. I probably will play but I still cant justify it. I played last week but I was not really focused. I played loose passive and eventually my stack shrank to the all-in point and I moved in for 8 big blinds with AK and got called by QJ. I knew I couldnt fade two live cards.

Life Tilt and Staking People Who Cant Read the Board

So its been a long time. Who cares. I have been on life tilt. The Sofa King is single for the first time in 17 years. I know you probably think its because Im a degenerate poker player and thats ok if you think that. I will not be explaining it here. Why no poker tales? I havent been playing because the finances are in the red because I just lost an income and bills wont even go down $100. I have been playing a little online but Im sure you dont want to hear about every single little $10 SnG I play. I have been winning though. Im not playing a lot though. I did enter a 45 person $10 tournament last week. It paid 6. I busted out 7th. Typical. My last hand I pushed with 55 and got called by J f'ing 10. I was the chip leader with 16 players left and then I went dead. I flopped a flush draw that I put some money in with that never got there. I stole some blinds but it didnt make up for the times when I raised the blinds and got defended.

Anyway I returned to the Monday night game last night but only to play the tournament. It was only 9 players because of the holiday and players being in Biloxi for the big WPT dealio. I seriously dont have the funds to play cash or $200 dollar tournaments. I burned through my remaining $400 of poker money in the last 2 weeks. Even putting $40 up for poker was a dumb move but screw it. In the first coupla levels I got KK in the big blind 3 times and won everytime. I raised the first two times because there were multiple limpers. I got called by 2 players the first time and got all in against a flush draw on the flop and doubled up. I took the pot preflop the second time. I smooth called once when it was going to be heads up. It was almost a min raise. The flop comes Jack high and I check. I expected him to bet. He checked. The turn is another Jack. I bet now and get raised. I dont think he has a Jack but I think he may have a set and thats why no flop bet. I also think that I havent shown any real strength and he is probably putting me on representing the Jack. I decide to call. The river pairs a 7 and I check. He bets but its a total value bet. Its confusing. Im scared of AA but why wouldnt he bet the flop? If he had bottom set then he may have just gotten counterfetted. If he back doored a flush would he bet a double paired board? The only thing I was thinking was he decided to play AA tricky and doesnt put me on the J or the 7. Maybe he puts me on 99s. I would. I call and he was bluffing. If he had bet more I probably would have mucked. Thats why the old value bet bluff sometimes sucks I guess. Anyway the rest of the hands were mostly preflop raise and take it down. I did flop top top and got all in against an open ended str8 flush draw and held up.

Oh I did play some 3/6 at Harrahs this weekend. I was in New Orleans for a party and I told a friend of mine I would stake her up to $60 for PaiGau. But the table was full so she wanted to play poker. So I played first to show her what to do. I thought she knew what hands were what etc.. Well when she was ready I took my moster $10 profit and "sold" her $60 in chips and took a seat behind her. Talk about a wild ride. She folded mostly but then she went to the river with Queen high once and called the river with no pair. ???? Uh oh. Then she hit a gutshot straight on the river and folded to one bet. When the hand was over I in my best Richard Pryor pitched voice "What the fuck you folded a straight woman?!!!?!?!?!?" I dont really remember how but we made it through 3 dealers with $60 bucks just folding a lot. It got down to 4 players because it was like 6 am by now. How could you leave that table ever??? She decided to play 10,9 suited and I was happy. I wanted her to hurry up and go broke. We talked about cashing out and playing PaiGau at $30 but she apparently caught the poker bug. At one point she says how cool she feels and I look around at the 3 fat old dudes she is playing poker with and start laughing my ass off. Any way she flops top two and smooth calls the flop. Lets just say that she probably woulda folded at some point during this hand even after she caught the second nut boat on the river but something made her realize she could fold this hand. I cant say what. Just something. She didnt even raise the river. So sad. She coulda won a huge pot against another full house. I convinced her to cash out and play something she knew how to play. She made $6 bucks. I let her keep it. I even gave her the $10 in chips I had forgot to cash out since she had paid $50 total for parking because she thought the valet was free to players. She didnt play anything else. Phew.

No Foldem Holdem

Im thinking about playing low limit for a while. My life and finances are fuct and I do have fun playing no foldem holdem. Plus my mental focus doesnt have to be particularly great. I cant make that big a mistake. I will just enjoy a $100 buyin at the $4/8 table until its gone or Im done. The last time I played $4/8 I won a lot but I know I was on a rush. I think I have a good advantage over the people who call everything and chase gutshots when the flush and the full house are already there. Maybe I can save 4 bets an hour that the majority of the table doesnt (just by folding non-suited 3 gappers). I may need to be more agressive on the turn and river for value. I often give up on betting and start check calling when the board gets a little scary. Obviously I cant bet a set on the river when the flush made it and there are still 4 people in the hand but there have been a lot of times in heads up or against just 2 people that I check the river and they are sitting with top pair only and never folding for the last bet.

Begrudging Update

I know its been a long while. Sorry. Life has gone south. I havent been playing much poker. Im in the process of taking a big and sustained financial hit so poker money has shrunk up and disappeared. The last time I played live was like 9 days ago. .25/.50 at my house. I lost. Like $40. Who cares. The worst players won. One decent player hit 'n ran. The only hand I can remember very well I raised with A2 on the button and got heads up with a tight limper. The flop is J34 and he checks. I continuation bet and he calls. The turn is a 5 giving me the wheel. He checks, I bet and he makes an obvious crying call. I put him on a pair of fives right there. 65 or 75. The turn is a deuce. Fuck me. He bets into me. He is capable of doing this with an Ace since no way he put me on any type of 6. But I did put him about 65% on the 6,5 already. I am just pissed and know I've been screw as is typical lately. He basically made a nice size value bet on the river and I paid him off. Fuckin 65. Typical. Also typical is my lack of big pairs to start. By the time my big pairs start rolling in I will be playing the nickel/dime game with my 13 yo and his friends. As far as online goes I have stop bleeding. I had donked down to $100 and started back to $5 and $10 HU SnGs. I am up to $175. Yippee. I may not have much exciting news about poker. I have major life problems going on which effect my finances and well as my mental faculties. I played golf yesterday and shot like 105 with 20 mulligans. Evidence of my ability to concentrate right now. If you do happen to see me at a game I suggest you have me covered and wait for me to lose my shit.

Little of This and a Little of That

I had a winning night online. I think I won $8. I won a $10 SnG and split 2 $5 SnGs. So after the fees probably $8 bucks. Before that I was like 2 for 22 in HU SnGs which is pretty hard to do since alot of them just come down to big coin flips. Im trying to have the attitude that Im just playing the chips in whatever tournament Im in and not letting the fact that its only $5 effect my play. Let my bankroll determine the stakes. Sounds good in theory but we all have seen what I do when I get pissed about bad luck. Whatever. I shall finish the game Doc. I think I will eventually put $600 together and deposit to a new site and get the 100% bonus. Seems like a no brainer. Just never go broke. I havent gone broke yet. Ive never deposited more than once except for like 5 years ago when I got strung out on Ultimate Bets 3/6 limit game. Pain that will last forever there.

I think Im gonna get a little deeper into football wagering this year. I might pick 3 or 4 games a week and put $10 or $20 bucks on each. There are so many good people rooting for both teams that my cursed luck couldnt possibly effect the outcome of a college football game right? I got a friend who every time I have used his picks in my college pickem pool I have pwned my office. I'd like to start putting some money in stocks too. Seems like it would be fun. Seems like you would need a lot to invest to actually see anything quick and meaningful unless you just get super lucky. Im gonna get my golf game crankin again too. Right now Im about a 18 handicap (I think thats bogey golf right?). I got basketball league coming up and Im playing soccer too which is going to be so brutal I cant even imagine the amount of pain it will cause. My boss wanted me to play so I did. Time is going to be hard to manage pretty soon what with sports and poker and doing homework all the frickin time with my kid. I better make sure I throw the wife a few dates too. Jeez. Keeping myself entertained is a full time job.

Circling the Drain

I dont even want to begin to write this. I had one of my biggest losses ever. $850. Half of it I lost playing holdem and like a genius I decided to play Omaha which Im not nearly comfortable enough to play. It really didnt matter though. I never hit a hand really. The one hand I would hit that I got raised out of woulda probably pulled me even for the whole night. I had AQJ9 and the flop is A,10,8. Basically by the time it was raised and reraised to me I realized I would be playing for the whole $400 I had in front of me. I folded. I figure I was somewhere around 40% to win against 2 players but I didnt have any money invested. Actually I was about 60% to win having just put it into an odds calculator. I didnt see all the outs like the Ks and 7s. I woulda won. Whatever. Thats why I shoulda never played Omaha. I woulda turned the straight and woulda boated the river. Oh well. Then I went about donking off the rest chasing shit in a sleep deprived haze. As for the holdem I started out by playing one hand of the tournament and turning a set and getting it all in with a guy who had turned a straight. I coulda got away from it having only lost 700 of my 4000 chip stack. Oh well.

The best hand of the night I wasnt in. A guy raises and the dude on the button goes all-in and says he hadnt looked at his cards. It gets around to the original raiser and he goes in the tank. Then he turns his KK over and still doesnt call. We are all trying to figure out why he hasnt called yet. He is worried that the dude has AA which he would never ever ever ever ever have in that spot. Well I take that back. He is more likely to have Aces since he hadnt looked at his cards because had he looked he would most certainly not ever ever ever ever have AA there. We all think the guy with KK is cruely torturing the guy. And then he mucks KK. WTF. The guy on the button turns his hand over to see 10,4 off suit. Mr.KK was sorta in a stupidity trance and said something about not "ridischooling" him. So pots come and go but at least we have a new word in our home game. Ridischool. Apparently it means not ridiculing a person who has done something beyond the 100th level of stupid. Something so stupid that to ridicule it would simply lower your IQ. To analyse that hand in any true and meaningful sense would make you dumber and subject to future ridischooling.

Anyway so what happened to me? Every time I raised a pot with my good ace I would miss and since the other person would flop the absolute nuts every time my continuation bets werent very effective. I did have KK once. There was $45 in the pot so I just made it $120 and took it down. I surprised I didnt get 3 calls. I had QQ once and reraised the UTG raiser and he just called. I shoulda figured AK but when the flop comes K high I still continuation bet and get check raised. Maybe the biggest hand of my night was when I straddled and a bunch of callers and I make it $45 to go with KQ. I get one call. The flop is AKsomething with 2 hearts. I continue bet $65 and the guy goes all-in. This guy could have anything. To break it down Im think he could have an Ace about 30% of the time, a pair of something else 20%, a set 10%, a flush draw 30%, and total air 10%. He is really unpredictable. I saw something which he did before he pushed which was either serious frustration or way over acting. It really didnt help my decision. I just decided Id rather call and be beat than fold and be wrong. He had a flush draw that never came. He only had about $220 to start so it was only about $120 I had to call. Whatever. All my big hands lately are gut wrenching decisions. I havent been able to trap anyone in a month. Most of the time Ive had to call with a pocket pair not as high as the highest card on board. Ive been right every time I can remember.

So my bankroll is decimated. My online one too. I played 4 SnGs last night. Lost all 4. As is typical they just hit every card they needed. I just laugh now. Im starting to really believe that God wants me to focus on something else. The run Im having can not be explained by odds. Yes Ive played bad too but everyone plays bad eventually when they run this bad. Snowball effect. So many just like me lose it all steaming and playing bad over a rotten extended run of terrible cards. I know so many people who work all week just to pay back their poker debts so they can borrow some more once they get square. I sure I will join their ranks pretty soon. At least it will throttle my loses. I know in the last month this has become a cliche way to end a poker post but I dont care. Superbad is one of the best movies ever and thats where its from. FML.

Been Beachin

bout to be home. Didnt wanna alert the media that I was not home ya know. I know too many degenerates in debt to let em know I was goin to da beach. I will be in actio Monday and blogging again Tuesday. Peace.